wisteria
Originally uploaded by norvegal
I'm full of feelings and low on words tonight, so I'll keep this short. I do want to thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for the outpouring of well-wishes and generous words of wisdom that you've shared with me in relation to this day I have dreaded and feared for so long. I feel extraordinarily lucky, and I thank you for the collective hug that made this day so meaningful.
For me, birthdays tend to bring up memories of past birthdays, which inevitably leads to a sense of loss and sadness about what is no more. Missing people who are no longer here, spaces that are long gone, times that have passed. And realizing how short our remaining time here really is. Which is why, when my mother and brother drove away, I stood on the sidewalk with quite a heavy lump in my throat.
There is much to celebrate, and much for which to be grateful. So we shall not end this day on a sad note. Instead, we will reflect upon the wise and inspirational words that my niece Emma wrote in her card to me. "You better have a good b-day," she said, "or the FBI will surround your house and you will be fired from your job and you will run out of money...So happy b-day."
Oh, to be 10 again.
Actually no. On second thought, I'm quite happy to be right here, right now, swilling my Metamucil and stocking up on Depends and thinking about how to make the very most out of every minute I'm given.
