Monday, April 22, 2002

Yet another grand day in the country. I'm getting spoiled!

It began when a dumptruck (at my request, fear not) dumped an entire mountain of topsoil in the front yard. The builders had left it a wasteland, yet I have grand visions of a Ye Olde English cottage style garden. Hey, humor me.

So I went out there and began picking at Mount Topsoil with a shovel. And what should pull up to me but an SUV filled with yuppies.

Joy! Tourist season has begun!

"Hi, excuse me," said the blonde woman condescendingly, "We're trying to get back to Belfast..??" (Her husband leands over and interrupts, "uh... Bucksport?" he adds, mentioning a nearer town just in case I've never travelled more than 30 miles from home in my entire life.)

I tell them the easiest way to do it, and she shoots an angry glare at her husband. "Route 15 is the closest way," she repeats to him. She turns back to me. "Are you sure there's no faster way?" No, I assure her.

(I don't tell her the faster way because a) I hate her, b) it'd take too much of our valuable shoveling time, and c) now that I'm a local, I must always give inconvenient directions to out-of-towners. It's a law.)

She pissily accepts her fate, gives me a Queen Elizabeth wave, and off they go. And I return to my mountain of beautiful dark topsoil, which will gradually be transformed into the most beautiful garden you've ever seen.

Friday, April 19, 2002

This was a grand day in the country. It began when I tried to order voicemail from Verizon for the new business line, only to be informed that they don't actually offer voicemail in my area. How could this be possible? Have I moved to the farthest regions of the Antarctic? It can't be so.

Then a few hours later, a scuffle erupted in the kitchen. I hear high-pitched squeaking noises. What is that cat up to, I ask myself? Just then, he turns and trots in front of me toward the piano room. There's something unusual dangling from his mouth... would that be... a... LIVE MOUSE??

That's right, our boy became a man today. He caught his very first mouse - and a cute little one at that. I saved the little fellow from certain obsolescence, but at the same time I felt guilty for stifling my cat's moment of glory. Perhaps I've been spending too much time with my cat and not enough time with other humans?

Friday, April 12, 2002

Our town's greasy spoon drive-in diner has reopened for yet another season! The adventurous summer folk sit outside on picnic benches, swatting mosquitoes and chasing after blowing napkins, while the locals sit in their cars and snicker to one another, "Only a damned fool would sit outside on a day like this."

I've just come from my inaugural feast and can already feel my arteries harden. It's been the same order since I was a wee kid: haddock burger, French fries, and a can of Lipton's iced tea.


Aaaah, the lure of another season!!

Monday, April 8, 2002

Well, it's finally happened. I've gone over the deep end, passing the boundaries of "enthusiast" and entering the realm of "freak."

I have decided to build a miniature yarn shop. Although it is currently packed up in a big, heavy cardboard box downstairs (lots and lots of assembly required), it is theoretically supposed to look like the image you see here. Awnings, flowers, and surrounding village not included.


Imagine the potential fun to be had with this. A sleeping cat in the window. Perhaps some hooked rugs. Is that a fireplace I see? A tea service on a small table? Hmmmm... (And remember, it's our little secret, OK? To the rest of the world I'm still a sane, mature professional.)

Monday, April 1, 2002

What have I been working on lately? Well, I spent the weekend knitting, but not one ounce of yarn slid through my fingertips. Instead, I was knitting jewelry.

You can use beading thread, but for this bracelet I went wild and used very thin gold-colored wire. I simply pre-strung the beads, moving from 11 of one color to 11 of another, then five of a larger bead, three of an even larger, and then two for the center - then I did the reverse in the other direction.

Once the beads were pre-strung, I cast on two stitches using teeny tiny definitely-not-allowed-on-airplanes needles. I'd simply slide one bead over from left to right, then knit (which essentially secures it in the work), then slide another bead, and knit another stitch. Turn the work and repeat this process until you run out of beads.
Voila, instant jewelry! It's not Tiffany's by any stretch of the imagination. But it's wonderfully refreshing if you need a break from your regular fiber-filled diet.

Before I forget, what did you think of the "Girls Who Knit" banner? It's meant to be somewhat tongue-in-cheek sass, certainly not intended to exclude any boys out there who knit. Your ad will come too!

Send your feedback to "" (replace "at" with the "@" sign - I'm avoiding automated email harvesters...)

You don't realize how long winter has been until the first day of spring arrives. And yesterday, it did! Suddenly birds appeared out of nowhere, masses of them, filling the woods with their glorious song. Windows that had been closed for five months were creaked back open, which sent the cat into a frenzy.